u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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