she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize