sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
