is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
