i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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