he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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