I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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