HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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