Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize