guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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