I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
