Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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