Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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