Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he shaved USA in his pubs
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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