I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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