Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
