U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
