Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
