guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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