my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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