Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize