the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
