Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
