You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
