man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
