Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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