I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
