I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
