I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
