so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
