I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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