His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize