Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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