wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
