We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
