i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Randomize