Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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