And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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