i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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