After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
