You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
