do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
