I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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