I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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