my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We need to get me chipped asap
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
