I'm going to jail i love you
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
