Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
