I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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