I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
