Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
