wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
