Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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