make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
