My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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