Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
