people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
