I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
