dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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