i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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