She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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