if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
