Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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