So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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