Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
