is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
