Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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