i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
