i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
