Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
