I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
