Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
