I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
