addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
