No subtext here. People are naked.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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