the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
