so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
