mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
