my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
