I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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