I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
