just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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