capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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