that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
