if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize